Jan 09

In the morning we had a continental breakfast outside on the veranda. We had been asked on check-in on the previous day if we wanted breakfast delivered to the room, like fools we turned down the offer only to find out that they deliver it through a hatch at the bottom of the door so you don’t even have to open the door! After breakfast we packed and checked-out, the guy behind the desk mentioned our rather large bar tab – the bill had to roll-over to two pages of A5, quite large for a single night!

Knysna - Lagoon Heads 1.jpgAfter loading up the car we drove to Knysna Lagoon. We got a bit lost initially, ending up at the docks but we got there in the end and parked in a supervised car park where the attendant promised us heartily that he would look after our car & keep it safe. We booked ourselves onto a cruise around the lagoon for R30 and went to a Café for drinks where there was guy in a portable bar (what a great idea!) who looked like the perfect stereotypical Dutchman, mullet and moustache included. We bought ice-cream and headed for the cruise which was a pretty good mix of narrated sightseeing and time just to be left alone to look around from the comfort of the boat. The cruise lasted for about 1½ hours and took us right up to the lagoon heads (but not through them), we then had a little wander around the shops and went back to the car. As we got to the car an attendant came over so James tipped him as the first guy had disappeared but as we were leaving the first guy came over and was trying to get another tip out of us!

We went back into town and parked back by the Wayside Inn in another attended area and went shopping, revisiting Metamorphosis where James bought a handful of gifts and I bought a case made out of number plates and some notebooks, I also bought a plain Ostrich egg from a shop further down the road. We were both running short on money around this point so we went to Nedbank where we could cash our traveller’s cheques for free. The security was quite tough – one at a time airlock-style doors operated by a security guard (with a gun I think) but we got in after I realised that I had to close the inside door before James was allowed through the outside one. It took AGES to get the cheques cashed and we ended up bumping into the plumber who fixed the tap in the hotel, he gave us a bit of a funny look – I never worked out why.

After Nedbank we had a late lunch in a little pizzeria called Arnica, we both had the four-cheese pizza which was a bit heavy going due to the inclusion of some blue cheese but was nice all the same. Following a bit more wandering round we drove to another area of town to visit the Pick & Pay supermarket to get some more water & tried to buy some music cassettes as the car’s radio seemed only to work sporadically. There were two mini-dramas where I thought I’d lost my mobile phone and also where I felt suddenly really ill & like I was going to pass out, it was a very hot day so a brief rest in the shade sorted me out. By the time we’d done in Knysna it was about 5pm so we headed off towards Port Elizabeth.

Tsitsikamma - Big Tree 2.jpgOn the way to P.E. we needed somewhere to stop for a break and I noticed signs for something called The Big Tree. After shooting past the entrance (just off the N2) and turning round to come back we eventually got parked-up and had a drink. The Big Tree was 500m away through a fairly deep forest but thankfully the Tsitsikamma National Park had put down a narrow wooden boardwalk to aide navigation. The National Park people had also put information posts about every hundred metres giving details of the types of trees and wildlife you get in the National Park. Some of the more interesting wildlife includes Leopards, Bushbuck, Bushpig, Ratel (Honey Badger), Blue Duiker; unfortunately we didn’t see any of these animals though I’m quite glad we didn’t encounter a Leopard in open forest. When we got to The Big Tree we could pretty-much see how it got it’s name – the tree is 36.6m high with a girth of 8.9m – an 800 year old Yellowwood.

We finally arrived in Port Elizabeth at 8pm having found our way to Ann’s house without a single hitch we also met Lou (Ann’s daughter) and her husband Albert. One of the first and most noticeable things in the house was a cat with no hair on it’s body at all, like Mr Bigglesworth from Austin Powers. Ann actually has three of these cats which are Devon Rex, apparently as they get older they slowly start to grow hair in tufts all over their body, the oldest of the three had hair over almost all of it’s head. There were also three dogs, two belonging to Ann, the other belonging to Lou & Albert – funny little dogs but sweet all the same.

We had a couple of drinks then had dinner, I told Ann that I was a veggie and she put together something nice out of rice, vegetables and cheese. During the meal the conversation turned to the reasons I decided to become a veggie and eating habits in general, it’s quite a bizarre thing to have a vegetarian in South Africa. In terms of eating Albert is a typical Afrikaaner and loves to eat meat, and to braai (barbeque). Two of the best quotes of the whole trip came from Albert:

“I could Braai every night”
“Cut it’s hooves off, wipe it’s arse, chuck it on a braai and I’ll eat it”

After dinner we sat for a while chatting and learned a little more about P.E. and South Africa in general, this was the first time we’d really gotten to speak to native South Africans at length and it helped bring a perspective on the country and our journey so far. One of the subjects which came up was race, apparently there are separate black areas and white areas in P.E. as well as the specifically defined townships (sometimes referred to as ‘locations’). There are many things that are part of normal life out here which you wouldn’t even give a second thought back home.

After not too long we went to bed, the trip had been quite tiring so far having packed quite a lot into the previous seven days. We slept in a little cottage in Ann’s back garden which was good as we could get up whenever we wanted and do our own thing. Ann had left us milk, orange juice and cereal for the morning and also took some of our washing to do for us.

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Jan 08

Got up in the morning and (after a hearty buffet-breakfast) had a wander around Swellendam. We visited some nice curio shops and, because we were in an agricultural town, had a look around a tractor showroom. We left for Knysna around midday, stopping at Mossel Bay for lunch. The bay itself seemed nice but the town was a little characterless, we drove through the town centre twice and couldn’t find anywhere to park and go for lunch. In the end we found a place called Café Barach, actually a hospital café but it served toasted sandwiches and had hot-sauce out on the tables so we were both happy. We ended up using the WC in the hospital (the last place we wanted to end-up) and headed once more for Knysna. Oddly the urinals in the hospital WC were also full of ice (see Monday/Day Five), still we could not find any valid reason why this should be so.

We arrived in Knysna late afternoon, filled-up with fuel and found a hotel. The Wayside Inn was right in the middle of town and had been recommended by The Rough Guide so we jumped at the chance. We got a twin room which was nice but had a broken cold water tap which a plumber was due to fix later. After throwing our stuff into the room we had a wander round town looking at souvenir shops, we found a shop called Metamorphosis which sold only goods made from recycled materials e.g. Coke/Beer cans, number plates, wire etc.

The hotel featured an Honesty Bar where you could take all the alcohol you liked as long as you wrote it down in a little book and paid for it when you left. Naturally we made use of this bar at the first available opportunity, had a few beers and watched Sabrina the Teenage Witch. We then got ready, had the tap fixed and (surprise, surprise) headed for a bar called Harry B’s where we jumped straight-in with two Windhoeks. The Traditional African restaurant we intended to go to was closed so we found another which served fairly similar food, we both went for Cape Malay curries. After the meal we went back to the hotel, raided the Honesty Bar and watched an odd film starring Debbie Harry called Intimate Stranger, an average late-80′s cop thriller.

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Jan 07

We got-up reasonably early and packed like crazy ready to leave Cape Town then wandered down to Tourist Information to cash some travellers cheques and headed to Global Car Hire. Whilst James dealt with the car I went down to Shoprite and went a bit mad on bottled water, crisps, chocolate and sweets – provisions for the journey should we get stranded. Unfortunately the car we were meant to have had come back with a broken windscreen so we had to wait for another to be returned in a few hours time, we used this time productively and headed for a bar! On the way to The Purple Turtle we stopped-by the Holiday Inn in Greenmarket Square to book a room for our last night in Cape Town before we fly home.

On arrival at The Purple Turtle we decided to play some pool and met two rather strange people. One guy was your regular common-or-garden variety of weirdo – staring at us and gibbering to himself, I think he was European but not British (not that that’s a reason). The other person was British and of undetermined gender (James thought it was an effeminate guy, I thought it was a butch girl) and was thereafter referred to as ‘The Monkey’ – an alarmingly appropriate moniker. After the pool we sat down and finished our drinks watching MTV’s top 10 cameos, we never did work out if the two weird guys actually knew each other.

We headed back to Global and hung around a bit – the car (a Toyota Corolla) was being cleaned and we filled in the paperwork and chatted to the car people. The car was already damaged, it had some kind of impact on the left side (as you look at the car), but structurally it seemed fine. James noticed a few extra bumps and abrasions which the guy wrote down but the all the main guy Shane kept saying to us was “as long as comes back with six wheels and five doors it’s fine” (there’s a moral here). We left the place with an empty tank, so we filled-up at the Shell garage at the bottom of Long Street and headed off towards the Cape.

Cape Point - Cape of Good Hope.jpgOn the way down to Cape Point we tried to get the radio in the car working & it seemed reasonably OK, we came across countless Motown stations – these guys LOVE their soul music. When we got down to the Cape National Park we saw an antelope-type-animal from the car – the first real wildlife we had seen so far. In the car park for Cape Point there were Baboons, climbing on cars and running around, we walked up to the Cape Point lighthouse and took some photos of where the two oceans meet. As it turns out Cape Point is neither the place where the oceans meet nor the most southerly tip of Africa – nonetheless it’s still a spectacular view.

After the lighthouse we got lunch from the little takeaway kiosk and sat down on a wall to eat – a big mistake. We were rather stealthily approached by a baboon which was hissing & bearing its teeth at us, it then proceeded to run up to me across the wall (within two feet) and steal my ice-cream. I was bloody terrified, you can get rabies from Baboons if you’re bitten. After finishing what remained of my lunch we left and headed for Boulders Beach.

Boulders Beach - Lone Penguin.jpgOn arrival at Boulders we got out of the car, walked down and took a left – here we saw a lovely beach with huge boulders and one single penguin. We went over to look at the penguin and took a few photos thinking (if only briefly) that this was it – we’d come to Boulders Beach on a quiet day. We decided to explore the other direction too and steadily saw more and more penguins until we finally got to the REAL Boulders Beach where there were well over fifty penguins!

We headed away from Boulders through the Cape Flats, a desolate but not unattractive stretch of land just off the coast, the townships inland from here give Cape Town it’s place as the murder capital of the world. We stopped for a quick break in a small agricultural town called Caledon, the people seemed friendly here but we were a little wary since this was our first venture out of the big city. We arrived in Swellendam (another agricultural town) at about 20:30 and searched around for a B&B. In the end we chose the Swellengrebel Hotel, dumped our things and went into the town.

We ate in a restaurant called One Baker Street, apparently named after the original street name when the town was first settled by a Malay gentleman. The food was good and the atmosphere was that of a small cosy diner, one thing we noticed was that the restaurant was basically full of locals, tourism was not so obvious in these parts. After dinner we wandered through the town and ended up at a pub called The Goose and The Bear where I got to try Cape Velvet, a local liqueur not entirely dissimilar to Bailey’s. On the way back to the room through the hotel area they were playing ‘Where do you go to my Lovely’ by Peter Sarstedt – a little piece of home all the way out in South Africa.

As Swellendam was a dark town we took this opportunity to do a bit of stargazing and put into practice the things we had learned in the Cape Town Planetarium. I managed to find south fairly easily – providing a little help should we get lost in the wilderness somewhere, the most bizarre thing (though it should have been expected) was to see the constellation of Orion upside-down in the sky.

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Jan 06

We had a lie-in and got up at about 10am, wandered down to Kloof Street and had lunch in Dros (had drinks there on the previous day). I stuck to my staple diet of Cheese & Tomato pizza while James tried the much more exotic Bacon & Banana! On odd and seemingly unexplainable phenomenon was that the urinals in the Gents WC were full of ice, neither of us had seen this before or had any idea why they might do such a thing.

After lunch we headed to the South African National Gallery which we explored for almost two hours. The most remarkable exhibit was a collection of photographs telling the stories of different people from all over the world who had to live with HIV/AIDS. The collection included some very disturbing stories and photographs and tried to demonstrate both the global scale of AIDS whilst also looking more closely at Southern Africa. There were some people wandering around the gallery who were from a charity which was associated with the exhibit, they asked for donations – James gave a little money but I didn’t. I guess my primary reason for not giving money was trust (i.e. lack of), I’m pretty sure the volunteers were on the level but in South Africa a lot of people ask you for money and you become pretty jaded.

Table Mountain - Dassie 2.jpgAfter the gallery we went back to the hotel and jumped straight in a taxi down to the Table Mountain cable-car station, quite a way out of town but it didn’t cost too much.We decided to follow a ’40-minute’ trail we’d read about somewhere, the basic idea is to follow the little yellow feet painted on the floor every now & again. One of the first things we saw on the mountain (besides the staggering view) was a Dassie (or Hyrax) which I labelled a Wombat through lack of any other suitable means of description. As it turns out they are fairly similar animals, the funny little creature was just sat on a rock staring at people. We walked for quite a while and became aware we were heading for a pyramid-like monument in the distance, it seemed like an interesting goal so we kept on walking.

Table Mountain - Patterclip Gorge.jpgThe monument turned-out to be Maclear’s Beacon which at 1086m is the highest point on Table Mountain, the view from up there was spectacular. After a short break for a drink and snacks we headed back round the mountain aiming for the cable-car station via a different route to the one we came by. As we were walking we encountered two animals resembling Mountain Goats, we later identified these as Himalayan Tahrs, introduced by Cecil Rhodes onto his estate which then escaped and made a new home on the mountain.

As we were walking along the most treacherous path we had come across (often less than a foot from a sheer drop to sudden-death) cloud set in and began to roll up the side of the mountain from below us. This made the journey a little more awkward as the wind had picked up as well, at times it was hard to tell exactly which way was up and which way was down! We got through this part of the walk unscathed but we did get a little lost as we could barely make out the yellow feet we were supposed to follow. But we made it out and headed back to the hotel for a rest – the ’40-minute’ walk had lasted 2½ hours!

In the evening we headed for a Chinese restaurant called The Noon Gun on Longmarket Street, the walk was almost as long as the one on the mountain and after getting to the top of a VERY steep hill it turned-out the restaurant was closed! As the restaurant had been James’ choice I spent almost the whole trip back down the hill being as sarcastic as I possibly could but James took it well. The whole thing turned out to be a blessing in disguise as we stumbled across an exclusive little Italian restaurant just off Bree Street called Strega. The atmosphere was great so we decided to eat there, sadly they had no free tables but they allowed us to eat in the lounge. Both the food and the service were fantastic, being sat in the lounge eating great food and drinking plenty of Windhoek in big comfy-chairs was a great way to end the day. At the end of the meal we filled-out a comment card and praised both the food and the service, after the waiter had read this he came over and told us that we’d made his day – he said that he’d been really busy and though he’d given us poor service. He told us that if we come again we should book as during the week they’d had to turn away the Mayor of Cape Town because they were fully booked!

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Jan 05

Headed down to the Tourist Information Office first thing, followed by a window-shopping a few Car Hire places. We settled for a company called Global Car Hire which offered reasonable rates and allowed drivers under 23 years old and booked the car for Monday morning. Mindful of the epic journey ahead of us we managed to find a stationary shop and bought a proper road-map to keep us on the straight and narrow. I was very keen not to have to navigate with a tourist atlas, I wanted the kind of map a real South African driver would use. We returned to the hotel and tried to book a tour on Robben Island for Sunday but everything was fully booked.

With only a few hours left until I had to be getting ready for the wedding we headed to the Planetarium. We had about an hour to wait for the show so we lodged ourselves in Dros, a bar/restaurant at the near-end of Kloof Street, it was quiet at lunchtime but the service was good nonetheless. The planetarium show was good, the main benefit being that it provided me with a way to get my bearings in the Southern Sky and to augment my general knowledge of South Africa. Besides, when travelling through hundreds of miles of South Africa knowing how to find South could be handy!

After the show I phoned Brad to arrange a pickup time & place then we had lunch and headed back to the hotel. When we got back to the hotel I realised that my semi-smart clothes had been packed at the bottom of my bag for over seven days, by now the creases had creases. I went to the hotel desk to ask for an iron and was directed to a creepy room just off the first floor, it was the kind of place you expect to find a disfigured relative chained to the wall (Re: The Goonies). In the end I got into the laundry room and frantically ironed my clothes so that by the end they didn’t look so creased – more gently undulating.

I was picked-up by Brad at 4pm outside The Purple Turtle, we then headed back to Brad’s place to pick up Tyra where I also met some of Brad’s family. Brad drove to the wedding to arrive for about 5pm, shortly after taking seats the ceremony began.

Wedding - Ceremony.jpgThe service was conducted by a friend of the bride and was held in one of the loveliest places a wedding could be held. The couple were married against a backdrop of Constantia wine lands beneath two old & massive trees (a symbol of a long-lasting partnership). The cutting of the cake and speeches were done in the garden-area of the restaurant and were set against the backdrop of Table Mountain – you really couldn’t find a more perfect place.

Wedding - Dinner Table.jpgA meal followed with plenty of time for socialising and meeting the odd new person, Justin was there, along with his sister and his girlfriend. After the meal & quick goodbyes to Karl (a very busy man with 140 guests!) I shared a taxi back to Cape Town with Justin & the two girls. The cab dropped us off in Gardens where one of Justin’s friends drove the others down to Observatory, dropping me off at the bottom of Long Street. The ride back was great – Justin and I were in the back of a truck with the wind rushing past us – an activity which really works in a nice climate! I walked back up Long Street, stopping at a newsagents for water (in-case James didn’t get the chance) and got back to the hotel to wake James up so I could get in.

While I had been at the wedding James sat around the hotel and went through the guidebooks for future reference and thought a little more about the route from Cape Town to Johannesburg. He then walked to Computaria to do a little surfing and emailing, bought some bottled water then returned to the hotel (no need for me to have bothered). For the evening James went to Kennedy’s Cigar Bar for bar-snacks and drinks in the company of a considerate and amenable waitress.

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Jan 04

We woke up and went down for breakfast, an unusual setup but the full complement was there – fruit juice, cereal, tea, coffee & fried goods. After breakfast we wandered down Long Street to Computaria, an internet café, surfed for a while and found out the details for my day at the wedding.

We popped back to the hotel to drop off & pick up some things and the manager called us over to the desk. It turned out that the journalist who interviewed us yesterday was from the Cape Times and both mine and James’ names appeared in an article about the exchange rate for the Rand and Cape Town tourism, I even managed to get in a direct quote! The manager had been reading the Cape Times and spotted our names, we’d not been in the country for 24 hours and we’d already got in the local paper!

Castle of Good Hope - Interior.jpgWe then headed down to the Castle of Good Hope, the oldest building in South Africa built by the Dutch but ran by the English until fairly recently. Our (free) guided tour was hosted by a gentleman named Sasa who not only knew a lot about the history of the castle and also put the facts across in an amusing way. We spent quite a while wandering around the castle then headed across town (in a route somehow both circular and zigzagged), gathered-up as many copies of the Cape Times as we could hold & headed back to the hotel. Thankfully our bags had been delivered so we now had a full complement of clothing and most importantly underwear! Tired by the convoluted wanderings of the afternoon James had a sleep; I went back to Computaria to print off a few last details about the wedding and called Brad (another wedding guest) who offered to give me a lift to the wedding.

In the evening we decided to head to Kloof Street (about an hour’s walk from town) which we’d read was a good area for restaurants, we ended-up in a bar/restaurant called Cool Runnings. Everything there had a Jamaican theme to it, the atmosphere was superb and the food was excellent – both of us had curry (James had meat, I had veggie) and we shared a veggie snack basket called ‘Da Rabbit Food’. James had a good amount of Windhoek and Ash had a couple of pints of a cocktail called the Pan Galactic Gargleblaster!

On the way back we decided to visit a club I had read about called More, the DJ was playing house music & the bar was serving Vodka & Redbull – what more could we need?

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Jan 03

After the scant-amount of sleep we could get we woke up to a particular kind of breakfast unique to airline-food, not entirely unpleasant but I struggled to find the reason why. We landed in Johannesburg for refuelling and a change of cabin crew before flying off to Cape Town where we arrived at 11:30 local time.

After passing through passport control I was called to the baggage handing desk to be told that both sets of luggage had not managed to get on the flight from Amsterdam. After some form filling and visually indicating what type of bags we had (from a huge checklist on two sides of A4) we were able to leave. Karl had arranged a cab to pick us up from the airport to take us to out hotel, throughout the journey we noticed little signs which proved we were no longer in England.

After arrival and check-in at the Tudor Hotel in Greenmarket square we had a walk into town to buy some clothes to wear from Edgar’s (a department store) and a few other essential items (e.g. Bottled Water & Crisps) from Shoprite. We cashed some Travellers Cheques in the Tourist Information Office where we also got interviewed by a journalist, asking questions about out trip to Cape Town. Upon returning to the hotel we grabbed a nice long sleep to recharge our batteries before going out for the evening.

The first order of the evening was to find a bar and with this in mind we wandered down Long Street and came across Kennedy’s Cigar Bar, both a restaurant and bar with live jazz music after dark, it was here we sampled out first South African beer – Castle. We drank in both Kennedy’s and the Long Street Café before we got to Mama Africa, a restaurant recommended in one of our guide books. Unfortunately Mama’s was closed for a private party so we headed into town in search of a restaurant, we found one but it didn’t offer much in the way for vegetarians (I’m an awkward vegetarian in the fact that I don’t really like vegetables). As luck would have it we ended up on Long Street again where Mama Africa was now open so we ate. The food was great, James had the Mixed Game Grill (Ostrich, Springbok, Kudu and Crocodile) and I had a pasta dish.

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Jan 02

I woke-up in Guildford, slightly disorientated after spending the New Year in Deal, we all had a great time over there though poor James did get a bit messy on Murphy’s and champagne. We finished a few last-minute packing chores & checking that we had passports and tickets (I have a well-earned reputation for forgetting, losing, washing and generally befouling passports). The taxi arrived about 11am and off we went to London Heathrow.

We passed through check-in with very little waiting time, just enough for last-minute calls to family & the ‘do we need this in hand-luggage?’ checks. I had been to Malta a few months before and flew from the same terminal so the layout was pretty familiar, especially the directions to the nearest bar! Heathrow was not too busy – plenty of time for wandering around and making last-minute purchases such as money-clips and disposable cameras.

At about an hour before the potential boarding time it was announced that due to dense fog in Amsterdam our plane was delayed by what eventually became 3½ hours. Having exhausted most of the potential activities in the terminal we sat down and read, I watched the planes taking off and landing – something I never tire of. We arrived in Amsterdam with just enough time to make our connecting flight though were rather confused whilst running though the airport chasing a flight to Johannesburg rather than Cape Town. We boarded safely and waited for some time for another delayed plane so that a few more passengers could make their connection.

The flight was long and arduous, neither of us slept for more than a couple of hours but were suitably entertained by the in-flight movies, Rush Hour 2 and Legally Blonde, as well as a documentary about Ewan McGregor in the rainforest with Ray Mears. During the flight we were well-attended to by the stewards and stewardesses who worked consistently hard throughout the journey.

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Jan 01

At the beginning of January 2002 I travelled to South Africa with a good friend of mine James Gates, the primary aim of the trip was for me to attend the Wedding of Karl Buhr – a friend & former colleague, the rest of the two-week trip was designed to get the most out of such a long-distance journey and get to see a little bit of South Africa. Unfortunately there had only been enough space at the wedding for myself so James would be unable to attend.

Whilst a certain amount of planning was required beforehand we deliberately steered away from having a rigorous plan and leaned towards a more open-minded approach. Before leaving we designated a few waypoints which we must pass through for whatever reason, other than this the places we would visit were not chosen until we had arrived in South Africa. In fact before travelling out we only had one specifically arranged planning meeting. James has family friends out in SA who kindly agreed to put us up in Johannesburg and also arranged a place for us to stay in Port Elizabeth.

The basic outline of the trip was as follows:-

1. Fly to Cape Town.
2. Ash to attend wedding on 5th January.
3. Hire Car.
4. Drive to Port Elizabeth to stay with Ann.
5. Drive to Johannesburg to stay with Anne & Bill.
6. Fly back to Cape Town
7. Fly back to London.

The remainder of this account is assembled from notes made in an A5 jotter, augmented with my personal memories of the trip.

Day One, In the beginning there was Heathrow.
Day Two, Arrived safely but there’s always a catch.
Day Three, Fifteen minutes of fame.
Day Four, The Wedding.
Day Five, Wombat!
Day Six, The Day of the Monkey.
Day Seven, Ended up in Hospital.
Day Eight, A big drive to the Big Tree.
Day Nine, Lunch at Tiffany’s.
Day Ten, A brush with death (well, almost).
Day Eleven, Destination Johannesburg.
Day Twelve, Cheated at the Cheetah Park.
Day Thirteen, A Rizla Sizzla.
Day Fourteen, Last night in Africa.
Day Fifteen, On a Mission.
Day Sixteen, The Eagle has Landed.
Reflections, General thoughts on the trip.
Awards, Favorite places and things from the trip.

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